Though I do miss the warmth of her body, the smell of her hair, the look in her eyes, that smile of hers. Though I can experience most of these through an electronic view screen, it is not and never will be the same as being with her.
As we approach the final days of the uear 2011, I reflect upon what I have done and seen this past year, what has happened to me and the rest of the world. Taking it all into account, from losing my car, to moving in with my grandmother, losing my job, finding a new job, visiting my brother in New Orleans, having the best weekend of my life in Tampa….*Cue in head flash-back*. Moving out on my own, having a huge drama fest with most of my family against me, finding a second job, working with that along with school, and with in it all, trying to find time for her. Texting, and/ or talking on Skype. I rate 2011 as, while not one of the best, or worst years of my life, as a year to remeber, and a hear full of hard lessons for myself.
And yet I have accomplished so much in such little time. Living on my own for six months, while still putting money away, AND making rent payments (Currently three months ahead saved up. Thank you budgeting.). Traveling by bicycle to BOTH jobs, raking in six miles a day, thirty a week. And comming home to essentially no one to greet me, to ask how my day was. Just an empty bed in a dark and quiet house. It can get to me sometimes.
But all I have to do is look at the pictures on my phone from that weekend in Tampa to remind myself why I am doing all of this.
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates:
Michelle Bachmann:"Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul:"The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry:"I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney:"I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich:"She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum:"Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann:"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney:"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)
I know I haven’t written a letter to you in a long while, years in fact. But I felt like I should write one now, though it is getting close to the deadline, and I do apologize for that.
I normally don’t ask for things for Christmas, I’ve always felt like it was inappropriate to expect some things to be given to you. However this year is different. See, my girlfriend and I live in different States here in the U.S. Which may seem trivial to you, as you can zip around the world in twenty-four hours and visit the homes of everyone who celebrates Christmas. For us, however, it is not such a trivial thing. Especially when we live about five-hundred miles apart, and no vehicle that either of us has of our own. Or the funds needed to travel to each others state to visit each other. You see our problem.
Therefore I am asking one simple thing. It doesn’t have to be done by Christmas, but preferably as soon as possible. I want us to be closer. Not emotionally, or relationship wise, we can take care of that on our own. I want us to love closer. Closer than Vermont and Michigan, closer than New York and Vermont. I want us to live down the street from each other, or, better yet, live together. We could spend all of our time together, instead of chatting via Skype once a week, optimally.
I got a small taste of what it would be like back in June, when we went down to Metrocon in Florida. Granted there were NINE people in that one room, so we couldn’t do much of anything, but I digress. Sleeping together in that bed just felt….Right. I don’t know how to explain it. Yes there were seven other people in that room, besides us, but they didn’t matter to me. All the world seemed to have melted away, and it was just us. The smell of her hair, the warmth of her skin. It just felt right.
Its all I want, really. If you could help this process along in any way, shape, or form. Please do so. It would make me….Make us happy.
Also, do something about this world. Its getting pretty fucked up if you ask me.